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Learning to Sing Again 

"Learning To Sing Again" is the first song I wrote after a year of being seemingly unable to make music. During this year, I was blocked by the criticism that my music and personality was "too much" or "too intimidating." I believe this criticism is gendered, as women experience it in many aspects of their lives. This song recounts my experience of recovering my voice in its full volume and power despite those criticisms.



I'm afraid to sing again

Every time I try, my mouth closes shut 

Are my melodies worth singing

Even if they refuse to be sung? 

I used to sing without asking

I used to sing love songs to secret gods 

I sang with desire 

I sang with the force of the earth 

But you told me that I sang too loud 

You told me that I frightened

with my sinful songs 

So I tried to sing more gently 

But I lost my voice 

Now even though I'm petrified 

I'm breaking your curse, I'm learning to sing again 

I am chanting blessings as my mouth unthaws 

I am chanting blessing as my mouth unthaws 

So if you tell me to sing more gently 

I'll just come back louder than before 

With this music you locked inside of me 

I want to sing louder and louder than ever before 

I am chanting blessings as my mouth unthaws

I'm recalling my love songs, my force, and my desire 

I am chanting blessings as my mouth unthaws 

I am learning to sing again 


Accordion and voice: Rachel Epperly 

Video: LUMI

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