TWILIGHTS is a song cycle about twilight, a time of day defined by change. Twilight is dramatic, featuring rapid transformations in light, sound, and temperature—but also mechanic, in that its changes are due merely to the position between earth and sun.

I’ve never been able to really sit through twilight. I take comfort in thinking that I can craft my ‘self’ and be in control of my own changes. The fact that twilight’s transformations are the result of a mere gravitational pull reminds me that that change is not something I always choose, but rather something that just happens.

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I feel a loss of comfort and autonomy in accepting that change is out of my control. But I think there is liberation there, too: to surrender to change is to accept that we are ephemeral, unpredictable, fluid; that self is not fixed.

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Accepting myself as ephemeral and fluid helps me unbind from rigid norms in regards to gender, morality, and success that have long restricted me. It connotes an expansiveness and freedom I both fear and long for.

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These songs explore the fear, loss, and liberation involved with learning to surrender to twilight; with learning to surrender to change.

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Written and performed in residency at the Virginia Center of the Creative arts.